After a loss, comes the day to day numbness. The funeral is over. The flowers have died. The calls are getting fewer. I look at the empty gift baskets and pile of stuff lying on the side that came in them. Books! I have no desire to read. To ‘fix’ how I feel. I know people are expecting me to move on. I’m stuck in limbo. Stuck in grief and I feel that fewer and fewer people care. I am feeling so alone. So I pick up one of these well meaning books. I can’t focus for long. So I look at paragraphs, rather than chapters. Then I sleep. Then I wake and I feel so alone again. Over time I read more and sleep less. Sleep is me escaping the everyday pain and emptiness. I can read longer paragraphs, and actually skim chapters. And now and again I find a nugget. I find some ‘words’ that are so pure and wonderful from someone who has walked in my shoes. I’m amazed that a stranger rather than a close friend can give me relief from my sadness. I start to collect these words so I can visit them when I feel sad. They are like a ray of sunshine each time I read them. My collection gets bigger. My days get easier. Not easy, but easier… I’m so grateful for a stranger’s words.
“Miss Me” Poem
“Miss Me But Let Me Go. When I come to the end of the road, and the sun as set for me, I want no rites in a gloom-filled room, why cry for a soul set free? Miss me a little-but not too long, and not with your head bowed low, remember the love that we once shared. Miss me but let me go. For this a journey we all must take, and each must go alone. It’s all a part of the Master’s plan, a step on the road to home. When you are lonely and sick of heart, go to the friends we know. Bury your sorrows in doing good deeds. Miss me but let me go.”